


Darling

by BlazingStarInInkyBlackness



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual James Madison, Asthma, Demisexual James Madison, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Pet Names, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Thomas is a bit of a slut, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlazingStarInInkyBlackness/pseuds/BlazingStarInInkyBlackness
Summary: James has a crush on Thomas. Embarrassing, really. But what's worse, what's far, far worse, is that Thomas has a crush on Hercules, James' identical twin. And when Thomas mistakes James for Hercules, James sees the perfect opportunity for them to both get what they want. Until those nasty feelings get involved.





	Darling

**Author's Note:**

> So this is basically me realising that Thomas and Lafayette get swapped plenty but Hercules and James just do not. So, in this fic that really reminds me of something from shakespeare, I swapped them.  
> I want everyone to understand I cannot talk about asthma with the certainty I normally can on chronic illnesses I put into my fics because I do not suffer from it and I don't have any close friends who suffer from it and have told me they do. If something is wrong then chalk it up to me starting this at one am and the fact that it's now eleven am.

 

James knocked on the door of his shared room and paused. He looked down and sighed as he saw a tie hung on the door. He shook his head before he turned and walked in the opposite direction, already pulling out his phone.

**To: Herc**

**Can I crash with you guys tonight?**

**From: Herc**

**What’s wrong with your room?**

**To: Herc**

**Thomas pulled**

**From: Herc**

**It’s the first night back??? Not even Alexander’s that quick**

**To: Herc**

**Yep**

**From: Herc**

**Sure come over**

The walk across the cold campus did nothing to alleviate James’ sour mood. The thought of Thomas in there with someone else set his blood boiling. James shook his head.

No, he hated the thought of Thomas having sex in his room. That was the problem. Not that it wasn’t James. That would be ridiculous. It wasn’t like James had a stupid crush on him or anything.

Then again if he did, who could blame him? Thomas had the kind of face that was annoyingly perfect. His smile lit up a room and his laugh distracted James every single time. He also had the kind of body that belied strength, a strength that James knew he could never really achieve. More than his body, Thomas had a razor sharp wit he wasn’t afraid to use on anyone who opposed him. He was smart and clever and funny and James was so madly in love that he hated it.

James paused for a moment and sighed.

Sometimes he hated his brain.

He felt a hitch in his breath and he tried to breathe in, only to find he couldn’t take in a full breath. He growled in anger and reached into his bag. He pulled out one of his inhalers and checked the colour under the streetlight. He then took a few puffs on it, feeling it running through his body.

James leant against the lamppost as his body went back to normal. Not just his brain that was fucked up. He was terrified that if he ever told Thomas his feelings then Thomas would just look at him with disgust. James had had enough nightmares about it to know the expression.

James wondered a lot if Thomas would be able to care about him despite his crippling social anxiety, his severe asthma, the medications he had to take every night and every other thing wrong with him. James let his eyes close as he admitted to himself he was pretty much unlovable.

Especially for someone as perfect as Thomas.

He was jerked out of his thoughts as his phone buzzed.

**From: Herc**

**Where are you?**

**To: Herc**

**Had an asthma attack**

**From: Herc**

**You okay?**

**From: Herc**

**Need a lift?**

**From: Herc:**

**James?**

**To: Herc**

**Let me type**

**From: Herc**

**Sorry**

**To: Herc**

**It’s fine. I have my inhalers**

A thought occurred to James and he looked in his bag. He groaned and let his head fall backwards. Sometimes he really hated Thomas’ hook ups. By sometimes he meant always.

**To: Herc**

**I forgot my meds. I’m going back to my dorm**

**From: Herc**

**Do you want me to drive you?**

**To: Herc**

**I’m fine, mom**

**From: Herc**

**You have to take them, James**

**To: Herc**

**I know**

James stared down at the screen before he shoved his phone back in his pocket. Hercules just didn’t get it. James loved his twin, loved him more than anything else in the world (with maybe one exception) but sometimes he was difficult.

Hercules had never struggled with medication like James had. The only illness he’d ever suffered from was breaking his leg two months before. James knew that it was a big deal to Hercules, being unable to play any of the sports he wanted to had made him waste away until James and Hercules looked identical again.

But the medications felt like the world held on Atlas’ shoulder. If he let it slip, just the slightest bit then he would die crushed under the weight.

Or rather, by the asthma attack that would come with it.

James approached his door and knocked on it loudly. He then yelled through the door.

“I’m coming in.”

There was a shout of protest before James was pushing into the room. He caught a glimpse of Thomas on the bed, entwined with another man. James strode to his desk and tried to find his meds but they weren’t there. He became increasingly frustrated as he couldn’t find them, he had to find them.

“Where the hell are my meds?” James asked, glancing at Thomas. Thomas stared back, caught like a rabbit in headlights. The guy that was with him glanced between the two, obviously unsettled. “Thomas!”

“I- I don’t know.” Thomas spluttered out.

“Thomas! I left them here!”

“I needed a condom and I knew you’d have some.”

James clenched his jaw at that and glared at him. The duvet was pulled over Thomas’ groin but the thought of what was happening there set James’ blood ablaze, both for good reason and bad.

“Look away for a moment, would you?” The man asked. James acquiesced and after a moment, the man came to stand next to him with a blanket wrapped around him. James stared up at him and tried to ignore just how awkward he’d made this. “I went looking for the condom.” The man pushed away a pile of paper and James winced. But underneath, there were his meds.

“Thank you.” James turned to stare at the man and did a double take. The man looked like Hercules. He looked shockingly like Hercules. The man stared down at him as well, the surprise mirrored. He then glanced back at Thomas who flushed and opened his mouth in an explanation that never came. “I’ve gotta go.” James muttered.

“Don’t bother.” The man muttered, shooting Thomas a look. “I’m off.”

“But-” Thomas whined. The man shook his head.

“I’m not getting into this.” With that, he grabbed his clothes and pulled them on. James ducked his head in nearly enough time to not see his naked ass. Nearly.

As soon as the man was dressed he headed to the door. Thomas, still in the bed, caught his hand.

“Can I text you?” Thomas asked, almost desperate. The man glanced at James and shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

With that, Thomas and James were left in silence. Thomas glanced over at James who stared back. James fought hard to keep his eyes focused on Thomas’ face, not letting his eyes wander down to the faint six pack that Thomas had.

“I used the signal.” Thomas half whined. James rolled his eyes.

“For the first fucking time. How many times do you think I want to walk in on you fucking someone?”

“I dunno. Wanna see it one more time or do you wanna step out for a moment?” Thomas snarked. James gulped, feeling his suddenly dry throat complain at that thought. Thomas arched an eyebrow and James shook himself.

“No. Get changed. If you want to jerk off then do it in the bathroom.”

Thomas groaned and threw his head against the headboard. The noise could almost be construed as a moan and James set his jaw again, trying not to show his discomfort.

“Jaaames.” Thomas whined.

“Why did that guy look like my twin?” James asked, reminding himself that it didn’t matter how many awkward moments he walked in on, didn’t matter how many times Thomas made those stupid jokes about them fucking. At the end of the day, Thomas wouldn’t want him.

Thomas paused and bit down on his lower lip. James’ eyes got caught there for a moment before he flicked them back up to meet Thomas’ eyes.

“I dunno. I’ve been having weird sex dreams about nailing Hercules.” Thomas said it as if it was nothing. James choked on air as he stared at Thomas who was staring back far too innocently.

“Wh-what?”

“I dunno, it’s probably just a sex thing. Not that I’ll know now.” Thomas stood and turned, giving James a full view of his back. James wished he could say he looked away. He wished he could say he didn’t stare (ogle) as his roommate and best friend slowly bent to pick up his clothing.

“W-well do- it’s a bit- uh.” James coughed. “I don’t think you’re his type.”

“Really?” Thomas turned, clothes going down to cover his crotch. “What do you think is his type?”

“I don’t know! I don’t- I don’t ask him.”

“Do you reckon he’s a top?” Thomas mused as he began to pull his clothes on. “He’s got the body for it. But you know, some people really surprise you in bed. Maybe he’s a bottom and, god, think of-”

“How would I know about any of that?” James snapped. “I’m fucking ace, remember?”

Thomas paused at that and James looked away. He’d believed he was ace since the first time Thomas had introduced him to that word, two weeks into term when James admitted he’d never loved anyone.

Unfortunately just a few months after that he began to doubt it because of the man stood half naked in front of him.

“Hey, don’t say it like that.” Thomas said softly. “You know it’s not-”

“It’s not something to be ashamed of, yeah.” James sighed. He’d spent so long thinking he was broken it was difficult to imagine anything else. “Whatever.”

“James, is my-” Thomas paused. “I know I sleep with a lot of people. Does that- do you want me to stop?”

“To- to stop?”

“Or at least go to their place.”

James nibbled on his lip as he contemplated that. The thought of Thomas no longer sleeping around because of James’ command had something delicious to it.

But even as he considered it he knew he could never say yes. It just wasn’t fair.

“No. It’s fine. I just don’t want to hear about my twin being fucked.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut then.”

If James didn’t know better then he could have almost sworn there was a tiny bit of sadness in Thomas’ voice.

“And- and thanks for the signal.”

“It’s what we agreed on.” Thomas said, something automatic in his voice. He quickly pulled his shirt on and a pullover on over it. “I need to get some work done.” He walked over to his desk and sat down. James watched him for a moment before he looked away.

 

Thomas’s words wouldn’t leave James head.

He hated it.

The thought of Thomas spending so much time thinking about Hercules made James jealous to an extreme that he knew was ridiculous. It also made him not want to talk to Hercules. He couldn’t avoid Thomas, he spent most hours of the day with him, but he spent very little time with Hercules.

It was all too easy to just ignore the texts Hercules sent and when he did finally respond to one of them to just say he was busy with work.

A week after the start of term, James overheard a call of Thomas’. He was sat in the bedroom as Thomas approached the door. Thomas was annoyed at whoever was on the other end of the phone.

“I get it, okay? Tell him and it’ll be okay.”

James looked up at that and paused. He could hear Thomas fumbling with his keys. Thomas could never figure out the lock so James normally unlocked the door for him. It was a constant source of enjoyment for James and annoyance for Thomas.

“But we both know that he could do better than me and- for fuck’s sake!” Thomas banged on the door. “It’s not you Angelica, it’s this stupid door. Don’t laugh.” Thomas let out a long sigh, a sigh loud enough for James to hear. “I just wanna tell him.” Thomas said softer. “I don’t like keeping secrets from him. I- I thought at first it was just a sex thing but it’s not. I think I love him.”

James felt his stomach drop. Of course. Of course it was Hercules. James was stupid to think it was anyone else. He was stupid to even consider for a moment that he’d be worth Thomas Jefferson.

James stood and strode to the door. He opened it and Thomas stumbled forwards, having been leaning against it. Thomas’ eyes widened in fear and James heard something down the phone.

“I- I’m gonna have to call you back.” Thomas muttered. He hung up and stared at James. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Look, I don’t care about you having a crush on my twin.” James lied. “I don’t care about you bringing people back here most nights when they look like him but for god’s sake if it’s affecting you that much then do something about it!”

“What if he rejects me?”

“What?”

“Look, he- he’s amazing. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“He likes being given flowers.” James said, not letting his eyes wander from Thomas’. Thomas blinked in surprise. “He- he had a girlfriend who did it once and he likes the thought behind them. Not roses but- but he likes any other kind.”

“Why not roses?”

“He thinks that if you’re getting flowers you should work for it, you should know something about them at least. What’s his favourite colour?”

“Blue.”

“No, that’s mine.”

“Oh.” Thomas looked down and his ears flushed. “Orange.”

“Yeah. He likes mixtapes because he thinks it’s nice someone put in the time. He doesn’t like gifts like body wash or- or anything cleaning wise. One time he got a paper mache dinosaur and he still has it. He likes it when people put in time.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“I-” James took in a breath. “I can help you get him. On two conditions.”

“Go on.” Thomas said, looking like he wasn’t sure what he was getting himself in for.

“One, this isn’t a sex thing. If it is then I’m not helping you and you can’t use those things. That’s- that’s what’ll make him fall in love with you.”

“Okay.”

“Two, you don’t tell me anything about my twin and you fucking. I just- I don’t want to know, okay? You don’t need to do it in secret but tell me one detail and I’ll kill you.”

“Okay.” Thomas was quicker to answer that one. “I won’t give you details about me and your twin’s sex life.”

“Then I- I guess we’re ready to start.” James took in a breath and gave Thomas a shaky smile. “Making Hercules fall in love with you.”

James tried to ignore the way his heart felt like it was being ripped in two.

 

James stood outside the gym, shivering slightly. He wanted to push the door open and announce himself to the world but he couldn’t quite do it. He was wearing a bandana on his head and his contacts were in but he wasn’t even sure if he was going to go in.

He wanted to get fit. Getting fit would mean he could stop being the dud friend, the odd one out of a pair. He was still pretty sure he was somewhere pretty deep on the asexual scale (ignoring the one annoying blip) but it would be nice to know people were attracted to him. He knew there was no fear of that when he looked like he did.

James stepped forwards but before he could enter the gym, a warm hand landed on his shoulder. He turned to see Thomas stood there, confusion written on his face.

“Herc?”

“What?” James asked in confusion.

“Are you okay?”

“Um, yeah? Why-”

“It’s just you’ve been stood here for about five minutes.” Thomas’ hand didn’t leave James’ shoulder. “Is something wrong?”

“N-no.” James said softly as the full implications of Thomas thinking he was Hercules hit him. He forced himself to straighten slightly and relaxed his shoulders with the ease Hercules always had.

“But you’re not going into the gym?”

“I don’t know if James mentioned but I broke my leg before we broke up last term.”

Thomas glanced down at his legs and frowned.

“I think he said something.”

“Well, my physiotherapist has finally given me the all clear to start exercising again. So I was gonna-” James gestured to the gym before he paused. “Just- a bit daunting.”

“How’d you break it?”

“I fell down the stairs.”

Thomas chuckled at that and James felt his stomach flip.

“Were you sober?”

“Well…”

Thomas laughed again and suddenly retracted his hand, as if he’d only just realised it was there.

“Uh, well. I- I was planning on going later today if you want to tag along then?”

“Sounds good.”

“Wanna go grab something to eat now?”

“That- uh- okay.” James smiled and Thomas grinned back.

 

They headed to one of the cafes on campus and Thomas ordered one of his ridiculous drinks that James always rolled his eyes at. However he didn’t this time, he couldn’t let this Hercules-James have the same shitty flaws as real James.

So he bought a coffee, black.

Thomas glanced at that in surprise.

“Something wrong?” James asked. He took a sip and tried not to screw up his face in disgust.

“It’s just- James can’t stand coffee. He can barely drink tea. I’ve tried to get him to try some of my concoctions since I met him.”

“Concoctions?”

“I get tea leaves imported from France.” Thomas said it so matter-of-factly that James couldn’t help his smile. “It’s a, uh, fascination of mine.”

“A fascination, huh? You got a lot of those?”

“A reasonable number.” Thomas leant forwards. He interlocked his fingers and placed his chin on it. James felt his breath catch. He knew what Thomas looked like when he was trying to get laid.

He’d just never thought he’d see it from this angle.

“Herc?” Thomas asked gently. “Is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah.” James took a sip of coffee and coughed as it burned his throat. “I- I didn’t hear what you said.”

“I asked if you had any fascinations of your own.” Thomas tilted his head and bit down on his lip.

“Not really? I do sport.”

“You do sport?” Thomas smiled and James flushed red.

“Play! I uh- I play sport.”

“Surely that’s not all.”

“Well, I liked the theatre.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I, uh- I played Romeo in the last year of high school.”

James remembered that play. He remembered watching his twin in the middle of the stage, striding around, every inch the hero. He also remembered not being able to turn up for the auditions because he’d been hospitalised.

“How romantic.” Thomas purred. He laid his arm across the table and began to tap the table with his long fingers. “And your Juliet?”

“She was a bitch.”

“And now?”

“Excuse me?” James asked in confusion.

“I mean, do you have a Juliet now?”

“No.”

“A Romeo?”

“How are you gonna ask if I’m dating an enby?” James asked, a smile playing across his face. Thomas paused.

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“Do you ever?” James muttered to himself. Thomas furrowed his brow but James was reasonably sure he hadn’t heard.

“Look, my room-mate is out for the rest of the day. Studying.”

“Yeah?” James smiled at the lie he’d told Thomas.

“So I was wondering,” Thomas’ fingers paused, splayed across the table. “I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my place. Find out a few of my… other fascinations.”

James stared at Thomas, his brain struggling not to short circuit. The man in front of him was offering to fuck him. James had been madly in love with him for over a year and a half and yet all it had taken was taking off his glasses and wearing a bandana.

“Hercules?” Thomas asked again. There was something open and weak in his eyes. James was sure that if he didn’t know Thomas he wouldn’t have spotted it.

But he did know Thomas.

James clasped Thomas’ hand and squeezed. A smile broke over Thomas’ face.

 

James lay in Thomas’ bed, panting slightly. He now got why Thomas slept with so many people.

And why so many people slept with Thomas.

Thinking of the man, James turned to his side. Thomas was watching him with lidded eyes and a frown on his face. Behind James was his bed.

“You alright?” James asked. Thomas’ gaze clicked to him and he frowned.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“This shouldn’t have happened.” Thomas stood and walked around the room, grabbing desperately for James’ clothes.

“What?”

“This shouldn’t have happened!”

“Thomas, I don’t-”

“It’s wrong, okay?”

“What?”

“I- I promised James. Fuck.” Thomas closed his eyes. “But you- if anything would work it would be you!”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t get crushes. I don’t develop feelings for people. I’m a fucking idiot who falls in love. I like someone? No, I imagine us getting married and what we’d name our kids! And- and of course! Of fucking course you-” Thomas glanced at James’ bed again and growled. “I like him and-”

“I like you too.” James said softly. Thomas whirled on his heel and stared at him, eyes wide in shock.

“Wh-what?” Thomas stuttered out. James stood and stepped forwards until he could kiss Thomas. He did so, relaxing into the kiss as he felt Thomas do the same against him.

“I don’t care what you promised James.” James muttered. “I don’t care about any of that. I like you.”

“Hercules-”

“If you think it won’t work then I’ll walk out the door now. Or in a few days you can call me and I can come back here.”

“And we can fuck again?” Thomas asked quietly. James sighed.

“If that’s all you want, sure.”

“It is. For-” Thomas sighed. “No. No I- I want more but I don’t know- I know how to do casual sex. I know how to do one night stands. I don’t know how to do more than that, Herc. And I’m worried that-”

James kissed him, cutting off the rest of Thomas’ words.

“We’ll figure it out together.”

 

James stood in the middle of the supermarket and tried to figure out just when he’d officially gone insane. Because it had to have happened at some point. There was no way he was considering doing this sane.

James groaned and slowly parsed through the phones available. He didn’t need to get anything fancy because Hercules and him had identical phones, a fact he knew Thomas knew. But their numbers were different. And if James wanted to be Thomas’ booty call then he had to have something to make that call on.

Before doubts could fill his mind, James grabbed for one of the phones and brought it to the counter. He went through the long process before he slowly let out a breath and sent a text to Thomas.

**To: <3**

**New phone, this is Herc**

His phone buzzed a few moments later and James smiled down at it.

**From: <3**

**Something wrong with the old one?**

**To: <3**

**Dropped it down the stairs**

**From: <3**

**I never knew how clumsy you were**

**To: <3**

**You have no idea**

James knew it was a bad idea but as he stared down at the texts on his screen he couldn’t quite figure out why.

 

“I have a confession to make.” Thomas announced one night. James glanced over to him. “James, I have a confession.”

“Shut up, it’s half three.” James grumbled. Thomas groaned and threw a pillow at him. “Grow up, Thomas.”

“I fucked your twin.” Thomas announced. James stilled. “Um about- about three weeks ago.”

“What?” James sat up and turned the light on. Thomas bit his lip nervously.

“Look, I- uh- I don’t know. My feelings are all messed up and- I fucked him. I fucked him and then I- I did it a few more times.”

“Are you dating him?”

“I haven’t been on a date as such?”

“You ass! You promised me this wasn’t a sex thing!”

“It’s not!” Thomas sat up. “It’s- it’s not a sex thing. It’s just- it’s complicated, okay?”

“How do you mean, complicated?”

“I- I don’t know how to do any of this, James. So far it’s been easy, just sex. But if I add feelings in then-”

“This is Hercules. I can guarantee you there are already feelings involved.” James flopped back onto his bed. “I hate you sometimes.”

“I’m really sorry.” Thomas said softly. James turned to stare at him. “This was- this spiralled out of control so fast. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“I know that feeling.” James admitted softly. He sighed. “Look, you’re my best friend, Thomas. If you’re gonna fuck my twin I want there to be ground rules. That’s all I was asking for.”

“I-”

“And I’m willing to help. If this is what makes you happy then I’ll get Herc to fall in love with you.”

Thomas stared at James for a moment before he slowly smiled.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

 

James groaned as his back was slammed into the wall. He opened his eyes to see Seabury towering above him. George King stood behind him, watching silently. James glared at him as Seabury held him still.

“What do you want?”

“That’s no way to speak to a fellow student.” King said, derision dripping from his voice. James set his face into a scowl.

“Let me go or-”

“Or what? There’s no-one else here, James.” King stepped forwards. “Now then, we’re going to have a talk about your last essay.”

“Seriously? That’s what this is about? Get off me and-” James broke off as Seabury punched him in the stomach. James doubled over and tried not to retch.

“Don’t interrupt me. I don’t like violence but sometimes it’s necessary.”

“Screw you.” James rasped out. King’s eyes narrowed and he dug in James’ backpack. James’ eyes widened in pure fear as he saw King pulling out his bag of inhalers. “No!”

“Look at these.” King practically purred. “How many of these do you need?”

“All of them!”

“Let me put it this way then, which one are you not going to die without?”

James struggled for a moment as King watched him.

“The purple one.” James admitted softly. It was only halfway true. The purple inhaler stopped his worst attacks, the ones that he hadn’t actually suffered from for nearly a decade because of the medication he took every night. If King broke the blue inhaler then James was more screwed as any attack could knock him down and hospitalise him.

“The purple one.” King muttered as he pulled it out of the bag. “That essay you wrote, it ruined my chances for winning that competition. That hurt me.”

“I worked hard for that and-” James let out a strangled cry as Seabury hit him again.

“How about this, you complete the essays set this week for Seabury and I and then we won’t have to have this conversation again.”

“I could be kicked out over that. I won’t do it! I-” James broke off as King dropped the purple inhaler on the ground and stamped on it. It cracked under the pressure and the pieces scattered. King stared down at it, a look of disgust on his face. He then looked at the bag in his hand. “Please no.” James said in a rush. “I’ll do it! I- I will!”

“Make sure you do.” King smiled at James. “I’ll keep these until then.”

“No!” James lunged forwards but Seabury delivered another ringing blow to him, this time to his head. James felt his knees buckle underneath him and he collapsed to the floor. His breath was coming in too short gasps and he wondered, once more, when life was going to cut him a break.

He grabbed for his phone and typed in the first number on autodial.

“Yerp?” Thomas’ bored voice came down the line. James opened his mouth but found he couldn’t say anything, couldn’t get enough air to make the words. “James? James, are you there?”

“Thomas-” James rasped out.

“Shit.” Thomas muttered. “Where are you?”

James let his head lie back against the building as he felt tears build in his eyes.

“Behind- house.”

James heard a door slam on the other end of the phone and running feet.

“Okay, where?”

“Dum-dumpster.” James rasped out. Thomas muttered something and continued to run. In just a few moments he was rounding the corner. He took one look at James and his face contorted in anger.

“What happened to your inhalers?”

James reached out a hand for one of them and Thomas scrambled through the pile of them to find one. James took it and sucked in a breath. He expected his throat to relax but nothing happened, if anything his breathing sped up.

He stared at Thomas, fear spreading across his face as the other man came to the same realisation.

“Okay, okay. You’re having a panic attack, not an asthma attack.” Thomas scrambled to crouch in front of James. “That’s good. The worst that can happen is that you’ll pass out.”

James’ eyes widened at that.

“Okay but just- just don’t think about that. Just think about me, okay? Just look at me. And- and-” Thomas stared at him, his own breathing speeding up. He paused and bit his lip. “I’m sorry.” James didn’t have time to wonder about what Thomas meant by that because suddenly there were lips on his, gently pressing.

James made an odd sound, halfway between a whimper and a moan. His hand moved into Thomas’ hair and Thomas echoed the sound. After not long enough and far too long, they broke apart.

James felt breathless but he could breathe normally again. He stared at Thomas who was avoiding his gaze.

“What was that?” James asked, voice quavering.

“I- I read somewhere it can help.” Thomas said quietly. Normally he’d launch into an explanation but he didn’t. Instead he just crouched in front of James.

“Thank you.”

“What happened here?”

“King and Seabury. I’m gonna go to the Dean tomorrow and tell him everything. I don’t care how much power King has, there’s no way I’m letting him do this.”

“I’ll back you.” Thomas said softly. “Whatever you need.”

“Thank you.” James licked his lips and tried to ignore how he could taste Thomas on them. “For- for everything.”

 

“What the fuck?” James asked, chest heaving. Thomas stared up at him, eyes wide open. James crawled off him and stumbled backwards. Thomas sat up and James was hit with an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

“Hercules, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”

“You- you just said- you just said ‘James’!” James cried out in confusion. Thomas opened his mouth to deny it but he couldn’t. “What the fuck?”

“Herc-”

“What the fuck?”

A shiver of anticipation ran through James at the thought that Thomas would scream his name, that James was all that was on his mind. He didn’t let any of that show.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t- I just- it’s not the James you think it is.”

“What?” James felt ice shoot down his spine. Thomas sighed.

“I- I have an old boyfriend. An ex. James Adams. He- it was a messy breakup and he comes into my head at the worst times and it’s just-”

“I’ve never heard of him before.”

“You wouldn’t have.” Thomas said softly. “Last I saw him was when he outed me to my entire school.”

“Shit.”

“And- I hate him for it but-” Thomas shrugged.

James frowned as the vaguest bits of memory about the man began to come back. He could have sworn the man’s name had been John though.

“It’s tough when you used to love him.” James muttered, sitting down again. Thomas nodded.

“He’s the guy I lost my virginity to, my first boyfriend, a lot of firsts.”

James leant forwards and kissed Thomas gently.

“First doesn’t mean you can’t have other memories.”

As James gently pushed Thomas back down, he didn’t see the stark relief in Thomas’ eyes that his lie had been believed.

 

The first time Thomas called James a pet name James nearly choked. They were sat in a café and Thomas was talking loudly about something. James wasn’t paying attention to his words as much as his lips.

“Herc?” Thomas paused and James looked up. “Darlin’?”

James felt his throat close for a moment and he choked on the coffee he was drinking. He immediately started coughing roughly. Thomas leant forwards and James waved him off.

“Sorry. I- I wasn’t expecting-”

“You like that name?”

“It’s-”

“You like being called darlin’?”

James didn’t know what it was about the word, why it was so powerful but the mere word sent a shudder down his spine and Thomas grinned in triumph.

“You know, everyone thinks you’re this tough guy but you’re not really, are you? Just a big teddy-bear.” Thomas smiled at that and James felt his stomach drop. He was doing a shit job pretending to be his twin.

“I can be tough.”

“I don’t doubt it. I just know you aren’t always. There’s no shame there, darlin’.”

“You’re not going to stop using that name, are you?”

“Now why’d I do that?”

 

“So, say I was taking Herc on a date this weekend.” Thomas started. James rolled over to stare at his alarm clock.

“Well done, you managed to wait until seven am to ask me something you could ask at literally any other time.”

“Where’s a good place?” Thomas asked, not even acknowledging James’ words. James sighed.

“I dunno. How romantic is it?”

“We’d be getting one hotel room.”

That thought made a hot flush go through James and he was glad that it was dark in the room.

“Well, uh- he’d probably like staying in the city. Maybe take him to a play or something?”

“A play?”

“He likes the theatre. He was Romeo in his high school play.”

“What were you?”

“What?”

“What were you?”

“I was in hospital.” James admitted softly. Thomas sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

“What was it?”

“Romeo and Juliet.”

“No I-” Thomas chuckled. “I meant why you were in hospital.”

“O-oh. I was- I got malaria.”

“Oh my god.” Thomas sat up straight and stared at him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I just- I took a bit of time off, did the rest of the year online. It was fine.”

“That’s terrible.” Thomas sank back down and kept an eye on him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” James said with a smile. “Nothing I didn’t recover from.”

“Still, I’m sorry.”

James wasn’t sure what Thomas was apologising for anymore.

 

In the end, they missed seeing the play. They fucked the moment they booked into the hotel. Thomas moaned Hercules’ name as if it was magical, as if Hercules was perfect.

James had a panic attack at some point after that and for some reason this time, Thomas kissing him just wasn’t enough.

 

“Is he that fucking good at sucking your cock, Madison?” Alexander shouted, getting up close to James. James growled and pushed him back.

“Shut up, Alexander.”

“You know how important it is for money to go into making sure people see a doctor here! Honestly, ever since you two met you’ve got stupider and it’s-”

“Shut up, Hamilton.” Thomas growled. Alexander was practically vibrating with anger and James could understand why. It didn’t mean he had to make a scene in the middle of the street though.

“Fucking make me, Jeffershit.” Alexander growled. He stepped closer and Thomas towered over him. “What, you think that just cause you spend your lives fucking each other everyone else will roll over for you? It’s-”

“And you’re any better? How many people did you fuck in the first week, Hamilslut?” Thomas snarled out. Alexander puffed up indignantly and James sighed. He didn’t know how a simple student union meeting had gone so quickly to exchanging sexually charged insults. There were a lot of people who had made bets about when Alexander and Thomas would fuck and James tried not to feel too insulted about never being included.

The fact that he didn’t want sex was beside the point. It would have been nice to be included at least.

“You slut shaming now, Jefferson?”

“What’s going on here?”

James froze as he heard his twin’s voice. He turned and saw Hercules standing behind them, a tired expression on his face. Alexander strode towards him.

“They both just abused their vote on the council and made it harder for us to make sure the students get the healthcare they need despite the fact that all four of us here have used the fucking facilities and we don’t know how much worse your leg could have been if there wasn’t a doctor you could see while you were still here! More than that, James literally survives off the doctors here to keep up his collection of medication and inhalers and yet he’s willing to throw it away for everyone else! I know Thomas has used it for-”

“And whose fucking fault was that?” Thomas snapped out. Alexander whirled on him.

“Just because-”

“Okay, stop.” Hercules commanded. James tried to find his voice but there was nothing. “Alexander, they can vote whatever way they want to. Thomas, please don’t irritate Alexander. James, can I-”

“Is that it?” Thomas asked, confusion written across him face. “Really?”

“What?”

“That’s all you say to the guy who attacks your boyfriend and calls him a slut?”

James wished the ground could open up and eat him.

Hercules furrowed his brow at Thomas and glanced down at Alexander who looked equally confused. Thomas’ expression was flipping between anger and disbelief.

“Alexander isn’t my boyfriend.”

“What the fuck, Jefferson? You know I don’t do long term.”

“Yeah, too busy getting fucked at every chance.” Thomas snarled out. He stared at Hercules who just stared back confused. “I thought-”

“Thomas, people are watching.” James found his voice, finally. Thomas glanced at him and nodded slowly. “Bye Herc.”

“James, I wanted to-” Before Hercules could say anything else, James ushered Thomas away. They went to the nearest café. Thomas sat down as if in shock.

“What- what was that?”

“I dunno. Herc’s always been a bit weird with some stuff.”

“He just denied we were dating.”

“To be fair, he just denied he and Alexander were dating.”

“He didn’t say we were dating though. Shit, does he think we’re just casual?” Thomas stared down at his hands and James sighed.

“Look, maybe-” James knew he could admit it then, could just explain how horrendously he was in love with his best friend, how he’d let the man fuck him several times, how he didn’t even care when a different name came out because it was Thomas and maybe James didn’t even deserve all of Thomas so he’d take what he could. “He used to date this ass.”

“What?”

“A-” James sighed. “A girl called Brooke. She- she was homophobic and biphobic. She was always saying shit about how he wasn’t really bi, how he was just being slutty. She hit him a couple of times, he broke it off and then she spread rumours around school about their sex life. She said other stuff as well, made herself into the victim. Said he’d raped her and she brought police charges against him.”

“What the fuck?”

“They were investigated but the police dismissed it all. She moved away and life went back to normal but- but he’s never been as open about being bi since.”

“I can imagine.” Thomas muttered. “Was he out before that?”

“Very much so. He’d already had a boyfriend and a few girlfriends.”

“Herc is quite adventurous, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” James sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just hard sometimes to- to stand against that.”

“I must say, you do a remarkable job.”

 

James let his fingers trail across Thomas’ chest. Thomas was still asleep but James couldn’t sleep. He knew he couldn’t keep this charade up for much longer. There was going to be a time when something would go wrong. Maybe Hercules would talk to Thomas, maybe James would slip up, and maybe Thomas would just work it out.

And then James would be alone.

He knew that he had no right to ask Thomas to forgive him about this deception.

James felt his throat closing and he stumbled to his feet and scrambled through his bag. He came out with an inhaler and sucked in air. He leant against the wall and felt his legs collapse out from underneath him as tears sprung to his eyes.

He was going to be alone.

 

“Okay I have a question.” James muttered, waving the bottle of whisky in his hand. Thomas nodded.

“Go.”

“Okay so, it’s hypo- hypothetic-” James frowned. “That.”

“Hypothetical?”

“That.” James nodded and smiled. “You’re smart.”

“I also have a higher tolerance than you.” Thomas took a swig and stared at James.

“Person A, right? And then Person B are just fucking. Like whatever, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“But say person A is actually fucking person C in person B’s body.”

“What?”

“Like- like that bit in Spiderman.”

“You’re gonna have to remind me.”

“So- so Doc Ock was controlling Peter Parker’s body. So anyone who slept with him would think that they were sleeping with Peter but actually they were sleeping with his body and the mind of Doc Ock.”

“Okay…”

“In that scenario is Doc Ock raping the other person?”

Thomas paused and took a swig, considering for a long moment. James was staring at him with a desperation in his eyes that he was worried about.

“I dunno. I guess it depends.”

“On?”

“I guess intentions? If Doc Ock was purposefully raping them? But then again, rape doesn’t need to be on purpose.” Thomas frowned.

“Say Doc Ock loved the person. Loved them so much and Peter Parker never cared.” James said quietly. “But- but the person loved Peter Parker. Loved the hero.”

“Well I guess that’s deception and it’s not exactly a nice scenario but I don’t think it would count as rape. I guess really it depends on the person, what they think of it all when the truth is revealed.”

“Does the truth always get revealed?”

“It should. It’s always better to tell the truth.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

“’m fine.” James sniffed and wiped at his nose. Thomas frowned and thought.

 

During their next date, Thomas never once referred to James as Hercules. He used pet names that made James squirm in his seat and he grinned like the bastard he was throughout.

“You know, your twin likes his comics.”

“He was really into it when he was a teenager. He’s actually a lot less into them now.”

“Yeah well, he knows a lot about Spiderman.”

“Spiderman’s great, dude.”

“Really, darlin’? I would’ve thought you had some taste.”

Part of what made the nickname so damn addictive was how Thomas’ accent would slip out stronger than ever when he said it.

“Well, not all of us can- can be so obsessed with- uh-”

“You make clothes, right?” Thomas asked, voice quiet and sultry.

“Y-yeah.” James lied. Hercules could sew for America but James had never managed to sew an item of clothing that looking like clothing.

“So if I were to give you a design, would you be able to make it for me?”

“D-depends.”

“It’s pretty simple.”

“I’d need your measurements.” James scrambled for a reason he couldn’t do it but Thomas just smiled.

“Well you can’t get those here.” Thomas stood and threw down money for the bill. “Let’s go measure each other up.”

James wished he had to self-control to say no.

 

**From: Herc**

**What was Thomas talking about?**

**From: Herc**

**Are you ignoring me?**

**From: Herc**

**It’s been three weeks since I saw you, are you alright?**

**From: Herc**

**I stg if you don’t answer I’ll set Hamilton on you**

**From: Herc**

**Hamilton told me he didn’t want to walk in on you and Thomas fucking. Can we please just talk?**

**From: Herc**

**I stg I’ll call mom**

**To: Herc**

**Do you have a sewing machine?**

**From: Herc**

**Yes…**

**To: Herc**

**A private one?**

**From: Herc**

**Yes. Why?**

**To: Herc**

**I need to ask the biggest favour of my life and I will explain everything**

**From: Herc**

**Go on**

**To: Herc**

**I need you to make Thomas Jefferson some lingerie**

**From: Herc**

**What the ever living fuck**

**To: Herc**

**Can we meet up?**

**From: Herc**

**I hate you.**

 

James fiddled with the take out cup in front of him as Hercules stared at him.

“You’ve got the expression when you know you fucked up.” Hercules commented.

“Because I did.”

“Go on.”

“Look, this is-” James sighed. “Don’t judge.”

“I saw the picture you sent. I am way past judging.”

“Okay, well that was his idea.”

“Start from the beginning.”

“Okay, first day of term, I walk into my dorm for my meds and I see this guy Thomas is fucking. He looks exactly like you.”

“What?”

“Well, not exactly but too much. And then Thomas admits to me that he likes you and starts talking about how you’d be in bed and I just- I just couldn’t take it. I told him to shut up and-”

“Why were you so angry? You know he sleeps with people. You know I sleep with people.”

“I have the mother of all crushes on him. It’s so- so fucking annoying! I can’t even look at him without thinking about being pounded into a mattress or-”

“TMI!” Hercules held up his hands. “TMI. I don’t need to know.”

“Sorry. But he’s just so- you know.”

“Okay, so you like your roommate who likes me. Not great.”

“Yeah. So I then- a few days later I was outside the gym. I was wearing a bandana and had my contacts in and he mistook me for you. And I played along.”

“Sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry.” James hid his face in shame, pushing his glasses up. “I pretended to be you and he took me to my dorm and fucked me. And then we agreed to sleep together some other time and- and now we’re in a relationship and I keep on seeing him as you and then giving him advice on how to fuck me.”

“Wow.” Hercules muttered. James nodded. “And he doesn’t suspect anything?”

“He hasn’t said anything.” James shrugged. “And I don’t know what to do. If I- if I tell him then he’ll abandon me but it’s not- I love him. Full on love and he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care about me.”

“That’s not true. He’s still your friend, your best friend. I know it doesn’t seem easy but maybe you should just tell him.”

“No, no! That’s not why I came to you, Herc. I came to you because I want you to make that thing.”

“James-”

“I can’t have him leave me! Please! He- he knows you can sew and doesn’t know why me-Herc can’t. I can’t tell him why. Please! I’ll owe you one.”

“You want me to go and design something that you’re going to get fucked in?”

“Come off it, Herc. I saw how your eyes lit up when you saw it. You were imagining Laf in it, weren’t you?”

“Does it matter if I was?”

“You’d be able to make another one.”

“If his measurements aren’t exactly right then this won’t work.”

“They’re right. I took them myself.”

“Again, something I didn’t need to know! What happened to you being ace?” James fell silent at that. Hercules sighed. “James, I didn’t mean it like that. I-”

“I think I’m demisexual, not ace. I- it’s only him. It’s only ever been him.”

“When you put it like that...” Hercules looked at the design and sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

“You’re the best.”

“I hate you.”

 

“You know, they say the stars are all dead.” Thomas muttered. James scoffed and laid his head on the man’s chest.

“Dark.”

“I guess. But it’s also nice, isn’t it? Their dying act is to fill our sky with light. Look at how many stars there are and just imagine for a second, burning that bright.”

“You’re rambling.”

“You sound like James.”

“Wh-what?”

“That’s what James says when I get poetic.” Thomas muttered. “It’s just- it’s a legacy, you know? A legacy that’s not made up of pain or death but of romance and light and beauty.”

“Now you sound like Hamilton.”

“Can’t I be romantic?”

“I don’t know, have you tried?” James asked. Thomas chuckled and shook his head.

“I hope that when I die my legacy is something good. Something powerful. Something-” Thomas broke off with a sigh. “What about you?”

“I don’t see the point. The stars are dying because they ran out of hydrogen and helium. They’re not dying, they’re shrinking in on themselves and the light we see is their explosion before some of them fall into black holes. And one day our sun will do that, will expand outwards, roast the planet and then collapse in on itself. It’s not even big enough to make a black hole.” James stared up, feeling Thomas’ eyes on him. “What legacy will you have then?”

There was silence for a long moment until Thomas spoke.

“Okay, well. I was trying to be romantic.”

“Sorry.”

“Nah, talk science to me, baby.” Thomas leant over and kissed James. James relished in the feeling for a long moment. “So because nothing’s permanent nothing’s worthwhile?”

James stared into Thomas’ dark brown eyes. A part of him pushed to say yes, to continue debating but in that moment he knew it wasn’t true. Maybe he would be alone someday but in that moment Thomas Jefferson was there with him and that was all that mattered.

“No.” James whispered as he surged forwards and kissed Thomas again. “You make the most of the time you have.”

“And knowing it’ll be over makes it better.” Thomas mumbled.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Your wish is my command, darlin’.”

 

“You know this isn’t going to end well.” Hercules stated. James looked up and groaned. He had a date that night with Thomas, he didn’t need his twin to knock his confidence already.

“It’s going to be fine.” James rummaged around in the bag beneath him and pulled out one of his inhalers. He sucked in a breath and let it settle before he glanced back at Hercules.

“Do you want me to grab your medication tonight?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“What?”

“I have some left over.”

“Left over? How?”

“I-” James shrugged and Hercules sat down across from him.

“You don’t have any left over. You’re not meant to.”

“I’ve missed a couple of doses.”

“You’ve what?” Hercules shouted. James winced and glanced around.

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not!”

“Herc, it’s my meds, okay? I can deal with it!”

“Why the hell aren’t you on them properly?”

“Because you don’t have fucking asthma!” James snarled. Hercules frowned before he scoffed and shook his head.

“You’re putting your life on the line so Thomas fucking Jefferson can think you’re me?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic.”

“I’m not! Do you not remember the attacks you used to get?”

“Of course I do.”

“You used to go blue, James! I’d have to just sit there and pray the ambulance got there in time!”

“I know, Hercules! I was the one who woke up in the fucking hospital!” James stood and glared at Hercules. He could feel people staring and he wanted to back down but there was an anger hot and heavy in his stomach. “I was the one who was lectured again and again about what inhalers did what! I was the one who was in charge of taking down every single side effect as they worked out which medication wouldn’t kill me! Remember how many there were? Remember how every week I’d go back to the doctor with some new problem? While you were off playing sports and- and being the fucking hero? Cause I do, Herc.” James took in a shuddering breath. “I do.”

“James-”

“I need to go get changed.”

“James-”

“If this ends badly then at least I’ll have done something, okay? At least I’ll have had some kind of life that’s not overshadowed by someone else. At least- at least I’ll have something to call my own.”

Hercules watched his twin walk off and sighed. He’d love to blame Thomas but he knew that James held some of the burden. He knew that only bad things could come of this lie and he had to be ready to support James when the inevitable happened.

 

“Hey, darlin’, do you- do you want to- to come out? Publically?” Thomas asked quietly. James frowned.

“What?”

“I dunno. I don’t really like hiding. And we’ve been dating for three months now. I just- don’t worry, it’s stupid.”

“No, go on.”

“I just- I wanna be able to introduce you to my parents.”

James started at Thomas in shock. Thomas looked away.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I-”

“They suspect I’m dating someone but I’ve kept it secret. I don’t want you to be some sort of dirty secret I keep at the back of my closet. I- I want to show you off as my boyfriend. I’m- I’m pretty hopelessly in love with you, darlin’.”

James stared at him, dumbfounded, for several long moments before he looked away. Thomas sighed.

“I guess that’s a no?”

“I’m not ready.” James said softly.

“Darlin-”

“I’m not ready, okay?”

“Okay. But I gotta ask.”

“Yeah.” James turned away and Thomas sighed. He stepped forwards and gently kissed James. He then pulled back and let their foreheads touch just barely.

“If there’s something you’re scared about then I’m here but- but if you think I’m gonna stop I won’t. I love you and that won’t change.”

James kissed Thomas, trying to ignore the sour taste on his tongue. Thomas had no idea what he was talking about.

 

James couldn’t breathe.

He gasped for air but felt it irritate his tightened throat rather than go into his lungs where it fucking needed to be. He clawed at his throat but it didn’t work, he couldn’t rip it open just to get the air.

His bag was too far away, the inhalers hidden too well for that moment. He was meant to be Hercules, not weak James. Not the pathetic twin whose own body would betray him. His vision was beginning to blur and fear burned through him as he realised this might be the end.

He was going to die of an illness he had controlled since childhood because he developed a stupid crush on Thomas Jefferson.

Vaguely, James could hear a door slam and he tried to call out, tried to say anything. All that came out was a strangled wheeze.

“Shit! Shit!” The person shouted in fear and James wheezed as his oxygen starved brain struggled to place the voice. His eyes slipped closed just as hands came down on him.

Then there was plastic in his mouth and the person was shouting again.

“Breathe, dammit!”

James weakly sucked in a breath and felt his throat relax. He did it several more times until he felt his lungs expand to their normal extent. He then collapsed backwards, shaking slightly.

He hadn’t had an attack that bad for years. His asthma was controlled, Damnit. His asthma had been controlled.

“Are you okay?”

James looked up and winced as he saw Thomas sat there, inhalers scattered around him. Thomas looked desperate and on the verge of a breakdown as he stared down.

“Yeah.” James croaked out. He went to sit up but Thomas put his hand on his chest and pushed him back down.

“You idiot.” Thomas hissed. “You absolute fucking idiot!”

“Thomas-”

“You don’t get these attacks! What the fuck happened?” Thomas shouted.

“I- I haven’t been taking all my meds.” James admitted quietly. Thomas looked murderous.

“Why, James?”

James looked down at the mention of his name. He knew Thomas wouldn’t think he was Hercules, not when he was this pathetic.

“James, fucking answer me!”

“Because of you!” James snapped back. Thomas stared at him, confusion written across his face. “Because maybe I didn’t want to- to be the fucking cripple for once!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Hercules doesn’t love you, Thomas.” James spat out. “He never fucking has!” Thomas stared at James, as if waiting for the punchline. James tried not to cry at that thought. “I do. I’m the one in love with you.”

James shuffled back at that and grabbed in his bag for his bandana. He pulled it on and Thomas stared at him for several more long moments. The silence stretched on until it was stifling.

“For god’s sake, say something!” James snapped.

“You never took your medication when we had a night together.” Thomas said softly.

“What?”

“I thought it was just… I thought you took it some other time. You didn’t- you didn’t want to seem weak? You’ve never seemed weak to me, James. How could you?”

“Why don’t you hate me?” James asked, staring at Thomas in confusion. “Wh- why don’t you hate me?”

“Why would I?”

“I lied to you for months! I- I- slept with you pretending to be my twin!”

“James, I-” Thomas sighed. “I mean, I knew.”

“What?”

“Not immediately but- I figured it out pretty quick.”

“I don’t- you never said anything!”

“I didn’t get why you were doing it. I tried to ask when it was us as friends but- but it was nice, honestly.”

“Nice?”

“You acted all confident and I just- I just wondered if that was how you’re gonna act in a few years. You were just so- you shone and it was incredible.”

“So you- you prefer Herc.” James whispered. Thomas shook his head.

“No, never. I don’t like Herc. I never have. I said that back in January to make you jealous. And- and to cover up a couple lies. I- I’ve liked you for months.”

“Since when?”

“Probably since that end of year party last year. You- you might not remember it, you got very drunk.”

“Blackout, I don’t remember a thing.”

“We kissed.” Thomas smiled at the memory. “And- and I was dating Martha back then but I dumped her the next day. All I could think about was you.”

“Why didn’t you do anything?”

“Because I thought you were ace. I thought- I thought that it was just a drunken mistake so I let it slide. I thought that was why you were so disgusted by the people I brought back. The people who looked like you.”

“I’m sorry I lied.” James whispered. Thomas pulled him into a hug which James relaxed into instantly.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to, darlin’.”

The nickname sent a shiver down James’ spine and as he pulled back he caught sight of Thomas’ smirk. He knew exactly what the word was doing to James.

“Start over?”

“Why bother?” Thomas asked. “We’re already dating, James. Now I just get to drop the stupid pet names and use your real one.”

Thomas leant forwards and caught James’ lips in a soft kiss. James gasped at the sensation, not marred or dirtied by the thought of Hercules. Thomas was kissing him because of him, no-one else.

Thomas was kissing him because he liked him.

But no, if Thomas was to be believed then Thomas was kissing him because he loved James.

James pulled back for a second and caught his breath. Thomas watched him with those sharp eyes that belied the intelligence he never bothered to keep hidden. James sighed as he realised just how head over heels he was for the man.

“You know,” James started, biting his lip nervously. “We don’t- we don’t have to drop _all_ the pet names. Some can stay. I- uh- I’d like some of them to stay.”

A smile played across Thomas’ face at that. He leant in for another kiss and paused just before their lips connected.

“Fine by me, darlin’.”


End file.
